ennui

so i had a good time in rock island. i was upset that i couldn't go to morgan county with shaina, and i hate that i had to cancel plans. i HATE canceling plans on people. but i needed to go to rock island. i got a little too much sun on my nose, but it was overall a good weekend.

classes start tomorrow. i'm so nervous about all of this. i've got some good girl friends here, but they all have boyfriends or a sorority, so i'm out of the loop right now (rush is gearing up). kelly lives next door to me, but i never see her at ALL, april is with her boyfriend, and shaina is with hers. and susan is with KD. and i am in my dorm room by myself. this WILL NOT be a sign of what's to come. i'll fix that. when the guys get done with rush, at least, i think it'll be slightly better. i just feel weird going over there right now, because i'm worried i'll get in the way of a meeting or preparations for something or something else... i don't know. and like... i want a rush t-shirt, but i'm too scared to ask to buy one or whatever because i'm afraid they'll think "shoot, i don't want HER advertising our fraternity! she'll give us a bad name! she drags us down! quick, boys, ignore her!" or something. i don't think they'd think that, but it's just one of those fears that i have. they haven't asked me to come to the house or anything, except john, who asked me if i was going to the thing at the new dorm the other night, so i just don't feel right going over there right now. agh.

on a lighter note, not one full of angst and uncertainty

me and the grandparents ate at the market the other night for dinner, and the people we ate with asked how allen, my grandfather's uncle, was doing. to which my grandfather replied, "oh you know allen. fat and sassy!"

FAT AND SASSY!

love
lindsey.