bas

so i'm sitting here wondering how it is that i feel like i've been pushed to the very lowest totem. when did that happen? i thought i had great friends who would walk a mile for me... because i'm fairly sure i would for them. i've gotten 30 minutes of sleep in a night for them. that's for sure. so when did i get pushed to the part where you're next to the decaying dead animals?
i must have missed that.

i'm tired of it. i'm not going to do it anymore. if making plans with my friends means someone will always be late or always cancel i'm out. until i decide that it's worth it, i'm just not involving myself with it anymore.

evidently, the part i've missed out on it the part where yes, friends will walk a mile for you, or any other odd task that you might require. UNTIL the boyfriend (or qqu) requires/desires/considers their company. and then it's A DIEU to lindsey and BONJOUR to the garcon. and the shittier part of the deal is that i haven't got anywhere else to go. i have my friends... and that's it. it doesn't extend past that. except to my cat, and he's in playful time right now and not ready to be nice. but the point is, they can go running to a boy(s) when they get stood up. and it's fine. but MY FRIENDS ARE ALL I HAVE RIGHT NOW. do they not understand that? you'd think when i told one of them how the other stood me up and girl a got all offended for me about girl b doing it that girl a wouldn't stand me up herself. but oh, no, 2 seconds later it's "i'm sorry, i've got to go have this argument with my boyfriend... it's the same one we have every week/two days, and we won't come to any other conclusions nor will we settle on anything... but that's more important than our plans. toodles!"

WHERE DOES MY BREAK COME IN?!

i know this is incredibly way beyond selfish. yes. i know that. but seriously. am i not entitled to that every now and then? i really don't think i ask way too much of my friends. maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm an awful, selfish, bastard of a friend... so much so that i'm lucky i even have half-way decent people to claim me every now and then. maybe i'm the girl i hate.

love
lindsey.

mes souhaites

i just went back and read all my old posts from january and february. i put in my two weeks at work the other day, and i reminisced about my first few weeks there, when everything was so exciting with brandon and ditching the sigma chis and everything. it was... sweet. sad. depressing. liberating?

i got hired by one of my french profs as a student worker. it's only 2 hours a week. but it'll be working in french, and it'll look good. i'm excited, she's a wonderful person so far.

i have a kitten. his name is oscar wilde and he's adorable.

i have no boys in my life. no prospects. one wish, but i doubt it'll amount to anything.

i have no social life. i go to work, class, and that's it. it's sad.

i'm ready to graduate and move on. i have a very short shelf life as far as college goes, it seems.

i don't know what's going on with me right now. i need something to happen i think. i've got the future planned (law school) but nothing in the present. it's weird and frustrating.

love
lindsey.

l'ecole

ok so school has started!!!

i got to spend an EXCELLENT week in b'ham... i love benben and jeremy.

classes are going right along... it's going to be harder this semester... my french classes are ROUGH.

i'm thinking i may not be able to work this semester but i haven't decided yet. we'll see.

i got hit by a car while walking to class the other day. i'm ok though ;D

mock trial class forces me to have to miss homecoming and i'm seriously bummed about that. boooooooooo!!!!

i have so much homework to do right now. yuck. i'm going to get started.

love
lindsey.

j'ai peur

ok so it's 12:30 AM and i'm camping out at big o's donut shop for a few reasons:

1. free wireless internt

2. shaina's still not back and i'm bored

and

3. we have a massive bug problem and i'm grossed out by it so much that i'm
a. researching landlord/tenant laws in tennessee to make sure i can force my landlords to take care of the bugs and
b. figure out what kind of bugs i have and
c. try and prove that it's not my fault the bugs are there, they must be from the previous tenants because i'm clean and i've only been there a week or two.


so i've really started to develop a germ problem. i don't know how many times i've washed my coffee pot i still think the coffee tastes funny. i bleached my fridge and freezer (then wiped with water, no worries) because it smelled funny. i've cleaned my bathroom three times this week (it's flippin tuesday!) and wiped the counters, walls, and cabinets of my kitchen twice today. it's ridiculous, but i don't feel clean. and i don't feel like the apt. is clean.

today, i found a dead cricket, killed a HUGE roach, killed another cricket, and finished off a dying spider. not to mention the spider i killed yesterday, the cricket that got away yesterday, and the flies i chased out of the kitchen by hanging a ziploc bag of water (odd, but it seems to have worked). i am SICK of this. i'm confronting louise, the owner, tomorrow. mike, her husband, already told me he would spray outside but that hasn't done a thing. i'm going to get a kitten to control the cricket population if i must. i've seen precious go at some roaches. that'll help if they won't.

meanwhile, i think i'm going to go to law school. i like going all out to research some little problem like asking my landlord to spray for bugs. i'm ready to sue if neccessary ;D

i ran today... i followed the plan for day 1, week 1 on the c25k plan. 3 miles, run 60 seconds walk 90 the whole time. the 3 miles took 26 minutes. let's shave it down!!! i'm excited about this.

the housewarming party is friday. i remembered i have a fondue set granny gave me, so i think i'll do chocolate fondue and get some wine (ok like 2 cheap bottles) and encourage everyone else to bring some wine. i'll have to pick up some more wine glasses but it'll be good, i think. so tomorrow amber is coming over and we're going to lay out at the pool and then go to the liquor store and pick out some wine. yay!!!

i decided not to go to adam's wedding this weekend. i'm going to get them a coolish present and write a nice note and send that, along with my congratulations, best wishes, and regrets to the wedding with josh. and i'm going to go HOME. i took off tuesday and wednesday so i can have a nice long time with the parents, and i think we're going to go to atl to see kel and tim on saturday. i'm excited.

also i bought a watch today... it's pink and digital and will keep track of my running times. hahahah... yeah. so that's about it.

love
lindsey.

je cours

ok. so. i've decided it's time to get with it. and here we go.

i've already committed to running a 5k with kelsey in october or so. so i'm getting ready for that. i actually managed to get out and run/walk tonight, and it went pretty well. i'm going to go buy myself an athleticy looking watch so i can keep track of the seconds and times and all digitally, but i'm very inspired. i've managed to cut out some bad habits from my life this past week, and that's not nearly as hard as i thought it would be! so, i've downloaded the couch to 5k (or c25k) program from coolrunning.com and am planning on starting that. i'm super excited! if i'm still keeping up with running at least 3 times a week after the first week of school (starts back aug 28) then i'm going to get myself a kitty, to urge me to stay in at night, get a good night's sleep, and go running in the morning. i'm really excited. it'll be a good way for me to refocus on school and health and myself and not so much on finding a boyfriend or being a social butterfly. yay!

so kelsey and tim got two kittens yesterday. i saw pictures and they look so incredibly cute. i can't wait to see them. after the first week of school (aka the first weekend in september) i'm going to go visit kelsey and timathon in atlanta and see their new apartment and their kitties and have a ball, and hopefully joshypoo will be there too. it should be a blast! i miss my sister so much.

also... this weekend is adam from french class's wedding. it's at the quad, at 7 pm, and everyone attending the wedding has to wear a light/sky blue top. weird. i'm kind of thinking i don't want to go, but i think only me and one other guy from french were invited to the wedding, so i sort of feel obligated to go. the other reason i don't want to go (besides the odd wardrobe requirement) is that i've decided to go home to b'ham that weekend too, and i kind of just want to leave saturday morning (since friday night is supposed to be me and shaina's housewarming party), and i couldn't do that, obviously, if i went to the wedding that night. but i'm going to say screw you, nick's, and ask off for probably tuesday and wednesday, for more time at home, and i've already asked off for that friday to go to the morgan county mudsling with shaina. so there.

so... that's about that. i'm so excited for school to start. i'm tired of not having anything to do at all. i want a schedule back. and a purpose. blaaaahhhhhhh.

anyways. books-a-million beckons, i think. and lowe's. i'm thinking james joyce's finnegan's wake and some hardware or something ;D

love
lindsey.

bizarre!

ok, so i just had to share this:

i went today to go sign my new lease with shaina (!!!) and came back to the apt and lo and behold, my current roommate is so ready for me to move out/ concerned i'll run off with her ketchup that she got out all of my dishes and glasses and moved all of my food to one shelf in the fridge. she then wrote me an apparently "nice" note about how i helped her move in so she thought she'd help me move out. riiiiiggghhhhhtttt......

moving tomorrow!!! can't wait!!!

went to deer lodge with shaina... and i LOVED it. super fun... details to follow after i move.

love
lindsey.

fatiguee

i am so tired. like seriously i can hardly drag myself out of bed. right now i'm postponing my shower before work. i'm going to be all stressed and rushed but i can't bring myself to go get in the shower. this is ridiculous.

anyways.

work has been fine since i've been serving. there have been plently of bad moments but some good ones. most of my customers really like me, so that's always fun.

not really much development on the boy front. i've got a date this week at some point with a guy... we'll see. i haven't quite made up my mind about him. and another guy that i hung out with once called me and we watched a movie the other night. that was rather exciting. sketchmo isn't really speaking to me, but we both work saturday, so he'll have to then, i guess.

i'm moving this week! i'm so excited!!! shaina and i got an apartment with a fireplace, a pool, and a dining room! oh it's so pretty! the downside is i can't get my kitty, but i'm going to speak with the landlady and try anyways. hopefully they'll let me slide. i don't know though, because our apartment just got new carpets.

anyways. i managed to get a shower and get to work on time today... hooray for me! it was slow, just how i wanted it to be, and now i'm home and ready for a nap, i think. or maybe a movie or something. i don't know.

i'm going to sunbright with shaina tonight though!!! i'm so excited about it! i think we'll have a blast. i can't wait to move in tomorrow/friday. our apartment is going to be awesome. living with shaina should be fun too ;D

and now... a nap?

love
lindsey.